what if you fall in love with your friend? : (
Do you have a close friend from the opposite sex?
I wonder if this ever happened to you, but they
say this happens a lot of times to ladies, that
the deep but unromantic friendly affection you
feel for a man can very easily be transformed
into a compelling dramatic, romantic love.
You can't seem to tell your heart to switch gears
or to stop your feeling at a certain point. When
a man starts spending time with you, supporting
you, giving of himself, becoming involved in your
life, your hearts sometimes can't help falling in
love with him in the process. Things are fine if
he's falling in love with you, too. But what if
he isn't? You probably don't want the intense
feeling to develop. It becomes difficult for you
to keep the closeness and the friendship.
So, should you suppress your feelings and get
back to the easy relationship you used to have?
Should you stop seeing him because it is too
painful? Should you cry and be angry or get
bitter because he made you fall in love with him
and had no intention of following through on it?
Should you just own it inside and try to pretend
it isn't there so you won't scare him anyway?
What will you do?
Once your care for him has grown beyond a
sisterly affection to a deeper love, how can you
suddenly empty out some of that feeling unless
you lie to yourself? If you stop seeing each
other, it avoids the problems, but it doesn't
solve it, and you will not grow from it, or learn
whatever it is that the Lord is trying to teach
you through that friendship.
So, why does this happen? These feeling actually
result from expectations. Expectations of having
the relationship led somewhere, of being love, of
being fulfilled, of being protected and
cherished, of being cared for in a special way.
expectations which rob a relationship of
spontaneity and unselfconsciousness and make us
inordinately preoccupied with ourselves and an
imagined, hoped for future.
These expectations rob us of the freedom to enjoy
each other unselfishly, as well as the ability to
love each other with truly agape love. You start
seeking your own satisfaction, rather that the
other person's total good. The solution of this
problem is not in your fighting the fact that you
love the man, or in trying to love less, but to
love more. the kind of love that the Lord has for
us. This is called agape love.
It is finding out that you truly can love someone
very deeply and yet allow him or her complete
freedom to respond to you in whatever way God
leads them to respond. The goal of love is not
always marriage. Sometimes, it's a beautiful
friendship between a man and a woman. Think about
this. As you love, whose interest are you seeking
to serve. yours or his? As you trust God and
yield your heart to him, let God direct your
relationships, you can be free from the leech of
expectations and free to let the Lord love that
man through you. You can pray wholeheartedly for
his happiness, secure in the knowledge that God
is going to fulfill all your needs, and that you
don't have to depend on a man to do it. you have
realized that only God can truly meet your needs.
You can say with our whole being "I love you, and
there are no string attached. I just want to be
around to support you in whatever way you and the
Lord want me to. I want to pray for you, share
your burdens, and be involved in your life
because I love you, but I'm not expecting
anything from you. I simply and truly want to see
you happy, fulfilled and joyful." That is serving
rather that being served. That is loving rather
that being loved
...coz this is the only kind of love i
know...when i say i love you...i really do...and
u owe me nothing in return...
ouchhh like i really wrote this...so me waaahhh
Currently listening to: lovin you
Currently reading: catcher in the rye
Currently feeling: ouchhh